


As We Are

by DatSonyat



Series: Chasing the Horizon [2]
Category: Made in Abyss (Anime)
Genre: Art inside, Banter, Bondrewd Headcanons, Caretaking, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff, Grooming, M/M, Relic Headcanons, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Romantic Gestures, Sleepy Cuddles, Umbra Hands Headcanons, Worship, Zoaholic Headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29650104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DatSonyat/pseuds/DatSonyat
Summary: Amidst Ido Front's quiet hours, Gueira and Bondrewd share a moment leading to the question: What does it mean to love someone no longer human as a human?A revelation Gueira doesn't fully expect.
Relationships: Gueira/Bondrewd (Made in Abyss)
Series: Chasing the Horizon [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128065
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	As We Are

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to my partner who inspired this and has been my friend and lover over the years, and stays by my side through thick and thin. I'm not sorry and will never apologize for writing emotional men. I love one. 💖 And yes, he enjoyed this and is aware of MiA in general. 😂

Bondrewd murmurs something unintelligible, adjusting himself, and warm metal shifts beneath Gueira’s hands, tail sliding up a segment. Remaining silent, he cradles it in one hand and polishes with the other, smiling to himself as the tip flicks back and forth in subconscious irritation. **  
**

Suppressing quiet snickers, he finishes off the last of the larger segments and sits back a moment to admire the full glory of Bondrewd’s repaired, freshly buffed and polished tail. It gleams like a glittering ocean of fresh ink under the dimmed lighting of its owner’s private office, cast in the bioluminescent hues of violet it gives off.

“Almost done, sir,” Gueira whispers, cupping the agitated, snake-like tip between his fingers. Bondrewd says nothing and presses his helmet deeper into the pillow he’s resting on, but his tail stills no matter how asleep he is, the tip of it circling Gueira’s fingers in coils meant to clutch. 

“Ah, ah, no, not now,” he tells it, barely above a whisper, tone all mirth. The specially woven cloth, dense and soft, glides along it, coating the metallic plates in a protective film that’s as much a sheen. Deadly and elegant in equal measure.

A mirror of Bondrewd, and his tail a divine extension of himself.

Hand of God has a different ring to it this time around, or the embodiment of a holy prophet’s will. Whichever. Gueira will accept any and all now and this is the truest temple he worships. 

Bondrewd’s tail, the behaving, polished to a luxurious lustre segments, wrap around his wrist and forearm, resting there as if in answer.

Not impeding his work. Gueira’s tranquil smile grows a fraction wider. 

He rubs in soft circles, working down the length of it and minding the sharpness of the tip as he grasps it between fingertips and thumb, massaging the slippery substance into it until its shine rivals Ido Front’s column. It squirms and teases the pads of his fingers, satisfied only when it finds a grip around them the second he’s done. 

Gueira exhales an amused chuckle and begins peeling off his stained gloves with slow care.

Bondrewd stirs, the faint light of his mask glowing a touch brighter. “Gueira?” His silky voice is laced with a heavy rasp that speaks of how tired he truly is. “Come to bed,” he says through a yawn, urging him closer with his tail. 

Questions of worth and exclaimed self-impropriety and stunned silences have long since passed, though Gueira tilts his head at how casual the intimate request is. The heat of Bondrewd’s private office has long since permeated his clothing and his words kindle the gentle embers of his soul into the all-encompassing warmth of a white-gold dawn. “Casual,” though, casual sounds wrong. 

_Familiar,_ and Gueira will rest easy in his familiar embrace, still…

He already knows the answer, but asks out of respect, “No body swapping?” His gloves and slick cloth are gone once Bondrewd’s tail relents, neatly folded to be washed properly in the next few hours, perhaps the morning, and the tray lined with tools, salves, and polishes is set aside before Bondrewd reels him in too deeply. 

“Hm?” Bondrewd wakes enough, radiant violet returning to the line of his mask, “no. The mind needs rest, too, to bear the brunt of Zoaholic.” He shakes in near inaudible laughter, further proving his exhaustion, and continues with such kindness it halts Gueira’s guilt. “You know well enough, sweet shadow. It was you,” his tail coils about Gueira’s waist and he drops his boots and what little delver’s gear he’s wearing to the floor with practiced speed, “you who taught me, after all.”

True enough, and he’s forced to swallow his heart back into his chest for reasons he wishes were different. 

“Zoaholic or Anagénnisi? Both? That was living nightmare shit, sir,” Gueira mutters without thought, easing himself onto the small bed as Bondrewd’s tail guides him. He curls up beside Bondrewd, pulling him into his mass and enveloping him in the same warmth he’s always freely given. “After that, I’d seriously hope so—I— _fuck_ —sorry—” 

Bondrewd quakes with soundless laughter and Gueira’s guilt rises twofold. He’s pretty damn certain nothing will train him out of it, except some kind of Zoaholic-induced lobotomy not of Auto’s brand—

“Terrible,” Bondrewd rasps, his grin not quite as sincere. “Dear shadow, you are mine”—it’s the closest he’ll ever come to telling Gueira he loves him well and truly—”and I would have you as you are. Improve. Grow. Transform, but do not change who you are at your core to please me.” He snorts in a manner hardly befitting the Lord of Dawn, tail winding around Gueira’s legs as he inclines his head and reaches up to trace Gueira’s mask. “A man who curses the Curse.” He tugs and Gueira obeys, hunching into himself to caress Bondrewd’s mask, anchoring himself with the intimacy the act brings, not trusting himself to speak. “I cannot imagine you any other way.”

Bondrewd gives the gentlest of taps to the chin of his mask with his own, repeating the same with his forehead: an Umbra Hand’s Kiss as they’ve all taken to calling it over the years. A “deeper” kiss than Bondrewd’s lips have ever given time and time again.

“I would not want you as I do were you any different.” 

Air doesn’t come easily to Gueira, and he crushes Bondrewd against him, unwilling to stop himself, as if he can fuse them together through the universe itself. He kneads the metallic spine Bondrewd’s plain, black undershirt does little to hide, holding him by his waist as their limbs intertwine. His chin tap isn’t as light, but bold and intense, eliciting a mellow noise of contentment in recognition, and he brings their foreheads together and keeps them there, gazing into mask and eyes and soul.

How many times has he selfishly and deeply—so painfully _deeply_ —wished for a sliver more of Bondrewd’s humanity to return? Just enough to assure him he’ll keep Gueira for as long as possible. More than enough to shower him in _I love yous_ he dares repeat over and over in his fantasies until his eyes sting.

Yet Bondrewd would change nothing about him, and he’s no liar—never has been. 

“Me too,” Gueira confesses around ashamed, relieved tears, with conviction so strong he fears the press of his mask against Bondrewd’s will shatter them both. “If you weren’t… if you weren’t, well, _you_ … I would still love you, but it wouldn’t…” 

Bondrewd reassures him with tender arms and tail, squeezing, holding, pressing just as close, his half-lidded eyes falling but still as attentive. Curious, entranced, forever seeking and comforting. 

Forever _Bondrewd._

“It would never be the same. I love,” Gueira takes a shuddery inhale, glad he can’t escape scrutiny like this, “Bondrewd the Novel. Not some…” he scoffs, partly at himself and partly at the disgusting words he’d once voiced—once, and only _once_ —lodged in his throat.

“Cheap copy?” Bondrewd finishes for him, low and husky. Somehow, he’s still the epitome of grace and beauty on the cusp of true exhaustion. “My Umbra Hands are not cheap copies either, yes?” His grip loosens, eyes unfocused, opening and closing, and there’s a moment of sharp annoyance that snaps through Zoaholic.

 _Don’t swap bodies, please don’t. Stay with me._

“I—yes, sir. Yeah,” Gueira softens, informal, tucking Bondrewd’s head into the hollow of his throat, running his hand down his back in soothing motions. “We aren’t. None of us. Not a _single_ body.”

“My, my, I do _not_ dislike this—” Bondrewd cuts himself off, but Gueira feels the telltale groan rumble through his chest. “It is a feeling beyond human. We will”—he sighs, eyes shutting the longer the sensitive base of his tail’s stroked, allowing Gueira free reign, trusting him and his strength—”continue this come morning.”

“Always,” Gueira replies, settling them into bed, throwing his cloak over Bondrewd, because what the hell happened to the bedsheets yet again? “You didn’t have to—thank you, sir. You’re… You have a… way, a something so… I can’t describe… A _way_ with words.” 

Netherworld, how does one begin to describe the power Bondrewd commands over spoken word? He’d expected anything but this, and comfort in such a state? He sighs internally. If his comfort is found in Bondrewd’s sacred word, then he can take as much of Gueira’s presence, touch, and affection as he wants.

Had he desired it all the day they met, Gueira would have given it to him. 

“So I’ve been told. Thank you, Gueira.” His smile glances across Gueira’s mind and he sends his own back. “And I fear I have no words left to give. I’ve given the last to you.” He nestles himself into Gueira, an arm draped over a massive shoulder while the other rests in the crook of Gueira’s neck. “If you could…?” he trails off, mumbling, with Gueira desperately clinging to every word and breath. Bondrewd finally breathes into Gueira’s straining ears, “My name? Just…”

His—Gueira chokes back his instinctual emotional reaction, he’s taken so much from Bondrewd tonight already.

“Bondrewd.” He threads their legs together, nuzzling his chin atop Bondrewd’s helmet as his tail seals them into one. “I’m yours, Bondrewd.” He tongues at his scarred lip for a moment, contemplating. “I love you, Bondrewd,” Gueira whispers as reality slows and quiets.

His tail ripples and constricts in the slightest of movements, a thing Gueira’s come to learn as fondness. In another second Bondrewd’s limp, and in another ten his breathing is slow and even. 

It’s the truth, Gueira thinks, lying there cradling his Lord, waiting for their breathing to sync, he will never hear Bondrewd’s declarations of true, passionate, _human_ love.

Does he want it? Does he need it?

Does he need to decide tonight, when “you’re mine” and “I’m yours” exist? 

No, Gueira decides, he doesn’t need to right now. He knows all he wants and needs is Bondrewd and whatever will be, will be.

He may never hear “I love you” from Bondrewd, and maybe he doesn’t need to.

Even in his sleep, he comforts Gueira, and sleep is as easy as closing his eyes with Bondrewd in his arms.

And maybe that’s answer enough.

.

.

.

A very sweet and unexpected treasure from the skilled [sasoreo](https://sasoreo.tumblr.com/) of Bondrewd teasing Gueira with sneaky Umbra Hand Kisses. 💜 Please check out the awesome MiA art they have going on!

**Author's Note:**

> We love each other as we are. 💖 
> 
> Anagénnisi is my own Relic and central to the AU aspects of Horizon-verse. _Why_ does Bondrewd need to sleep? It's hinted at and mentioned in Big Smut—can these fools just finish their dialogue since the 9.8k porn part has long been completed OTL—briefly, alludes to some Bad Yet Intriguing Things and gets seriously explored as I write more fics. I foresee a longfic at some point that collects these as I puzzle out more plot. Dusk is still being worked on, don't worry!
> 
> ~~is... is bondrewd qualified to give life and relationship advice? i have concerns.~~


End file.
